Cats never overindulge. As a rule we eat just enough and then we stop. That’s how we stay petite and flexible. I would say the only time we have just a bit more than our share is when we are celebrating something. Or if we had a long day and decide we need a little treat. Or if our human roommate goes in the other room for a moment and leaves their glass of milk completely unattended-practically an offer to share so why not?
As much as I pride myself on my own willpower I understand there is temptation out there, and I have seen far too many of my friends have trouble jumping up and down from the couch because of their own overindulgence. So I have decided to put together a few tips for losing those extra pounds and getting back into shape. What better time than after all that Halloween candy for these words of wisdom?
Tip # 1 The food will still be there later. I have seen so many of my canine acquaintances hoover down their food because they are just terrified that if they turn their back for just a moment, the food will disappear into thin air. Or that the cat will eat it. (I have only eaten out of a dog’s dish once in my life while the dog’s back was turned. I wasn’t going to at first but I could clearly see he had the good wet stuff while I had the not as good dry stuff. His short attention span had lead him away from his bowl momentarily and I had to make a decision. I stand by it.) For the most part your food will not disappear. You are free to stop when you start to feel full, or when you need a nap. Or when you have to clean yourself. Or when a reflection of light from across the room has caught your eye.
Tip # 2 Out of sight out of mind. This tip’s an oldie but a goodie. I don’t know how many times I have completely forgotten about food and eating all together until my human roommate takes the food out of the cupboard. As soon as I see that bag I remember that my bowl is empty, I haven’t eaten since the last time my bowl wasn’t empty and I am actually completely famished. And that’s when I start meowing and rubbing between her legs to try and explain to her I need food in my bowl ASAP. But I swear up until the moment she takes the food out of the cupboard I am fine and content and…usually asleep.
Tip # 3 Get a lot of sleep. When you’re sleeping you’re not eating. Granted, you’re also not exercising, but we all have to make sacrifices here. Besides, in order to do all your workouts you are going to need your energy. Energy comes from three known sources: energy bars (gross), energy drinks (barf) and sleep. Cats have the upper hand over humans on this one, I understand. We are very good at falling asleep and successfully staying asleep. The trick is to just get comfortable, close your eyes and…..
Tip # 4 Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Tip # 5 Moderation. You must never say no to the foods you want. As soon as you deny yourself the foods you want you are doomed to eat them so strike the word no from your vocabulary. Instead say some. I will have some fries. I will some pasta. I will have some ice cream. I will have some more ice cream. And, yes, I will have some whip cream and some sprinkles on that. And some double chocolate hot fudge sauce on the side. See how easy it is to harness your willpower?
Tip # 6 You have to at least get some exercise. Walking back and forth from the couch to the kitchen does not count. Try to fit in the hallway. I, myself, like to run laps up and down the hallway, climb the back of the couch and get up as high as I can on the book shelf. Once I’m up there I like to make a game out of how many books I can knock down before my human roommate has one of her freak outs. (She has daily freak outs, they are so trying. I swear as soon as I can afford it I am getting my own place). If you want to try running but haven’t had the motivation to get started then just pretend your chasing a dog. Or stalking mouse. See? Exercising can be fun!
Tip # 7 Always get a lot of the best exercise *wink wink*. You know….the BEST exercise? You know…the BEST EXERCISE, it’s…..walking? WHAT? Seriously? It’s walking? The best exercise is walking? Are you sure? I thought it was….well never mind. I guess go for a walk then. Sounds really boring but whatever.
Tip # 8 Make sure you’re doing this for YOU. Not for your reflection in the mirror and not for some guy. If you ever feel like you need to do all this crap for someone else then just take a look at your feline roommate. We try for NO ONE. And we are perfection in a fur coat. Do you know why we are perfection? Because we know it. It’s all about the confidence Baby! If you are worried about what others are going to think of you then maybe you should just stay home with your kitty companion. She certainly isn’t judging you. Trust me, she likes you just the way you are. As should you.
Meow Meow For Now,
Toque ♥
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