Well Kittens, we’re coming to the end of the first month of the New Year. I am back from a short break and this seems the perfect time to look at all those well intended New Year’s resolutions. To see how well you were able to stick with them. So, how’d you do?
……..Well, don’t be too hard on yourselves. It happens to the best of us. (I mean the best of you, humans. As a cat, I don’t make resolutions. As a cat I don’t need to.) You make resolutions with the best intentions but somehow they fall to the sidelines, or get put on the backburner. Resolutions, like diets, are doomed to fail. (None more than the resolution to diet—that one always falls apart). Part of the reason is the pressure you put on the resolution, and yourself, adds a stress factor to it all that you don’t need. Another problem—and I think the main problem—is the resolutions you guys come up with are unobtainable and RIDICULOUS. You humans have this belief that some huge change is going to change your whole life, which is not always the case. And almost always impossible to accomplish. Sometimes it’s the small changes that make the big differences in your life. I figure the end of January was the perfect time to help you guys out. It’s usually around this time you have pretty much given up on any resolutions and have wallowed sufficiently in your own failure and self pity. So, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and read my short list of February 1st resolutions. Start making those small changes to day.
Resolution #1: Shop more. For stuff. And things. Lord knows you need more, right? How many times have you caught yourself saying “I wish I had a blank.”? Or “I am all out of blank.”? Or “These don’t fit, I need a new pair of blank.”? Not having enough blank in your life is a direct result of not shopping. There is a solution here, GO SHOPPING. Start filling those blanks. With stuff.
Resolution #2: Sleep more. You humans only sleep, what? Eight to ten hours a day? Maybe? That’s despicable. And, it explains why you have circles around your eyes, why you have trouble losing weight and why your hair is falling out. I’ve told you before in a past blog how important this is. You need to start exercising what you’ve learned. Try sleeping at least 15 hours before you have to get up. Take a quick nap after you get up. And try to implement a nap program at your work. Your boss will be impressed with your initiative.
Resolution #3: Groom more. Splurge on a manicure. No matter how steady your hand is, nothing beats having someone else do it for you. The same goes for your hair. That feeling you have when you leave the salon? And you catch your reflection in a window? And you consciously flick your hair over your shoulder? SO worth the money. And besides, there are just some things you can’t do on your own. Example? Cut your own bangs (oh no honey, no).
Resolution #4: Read more. Easy enough, and doesn’t require too much of your time. (I can get through an entire Cosmo magazine in 20 minutes flat). Reading
Resolution #5: Go out more. By following my above resolutions you are now looking good, hopefully feeling good, you read more and stuff. It’s time to show yourself off. Share yourself with others. Don’t deny others the pleasure of knowing you. That’s selfish.
Resolution #6: Seek feline help with all of the above. Sometimes even easy, totally obtainable resolutions are intimidating. And it can be hard to know if you’re on the right track. That’s where your feline roommate would help you out. She can let you know when you are looking hot, or when you’ve put too much make-up on. When it’s time to read, or when it’s time to look at her. When it’s time to go out, or when it’s time to stay in and stay cuddled up in bed. A feline makes all the resolutions worthwhile, because who else are you going to share your accomplishments with?
Meow Meow For Now,
Toque ♥
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