Well the tree’s been trimmed, and only knocked down twice (almost thrice but it was caught at the last second). There’s different sized boxes wrapped in different colours under said tree. Any poultry to be consumed has been thawed out and stuffed. Any baking to be done is coming to an end. Dozens upon dozens of holiday cartoons and bad made-for-TV holiday movies have been watched. Greedy letters have been sent to Santa telling him how good the writer’s been (I do not have to do this because as a cat, Santa already knows I’ve been good. Well, good for a cat, with all things considered). Oh, and the dog-has been made to don his gay apparel. Much to my enjoyment! I’m still laughing to myself….when I’m in a bad mood I remember the dog in that dumb hat and I start giggling…..
I’ve lost track of what I was saying. What was I saying? Oh yes!-preparations for the holiday. It’s Christmas Eve Kittens, and that can only mean one thing: it’s time for MAN SHOPPING. I’ve said it before, that men are the number one reason I am single and MAN SHOPPING DAY is a prime example of why. Every Christmas Eve the mall is full of men, from open to close, wandering around, panicking, throwing money at whatever the store has left, breaking momentarily for coffee, then getting up and throwing money at whatever they can find again. As a cat, I find this behaviour stupid. As a woman, I find it down right offensive. Normally, I would just let these guys drown to death in their own panic and lack of hunting abilities. But with this holiday upon us I started feeling charitable, with the good will towards men and all that jazz. So I decided to help out, with some shopping tips. For all those last minute shoppers. And by the way, if your boyfriend is not among these last minute shoppers, and is actually ready for this holiday, then MARRY HIM. And if your husband is not among these last minute shoppers and is actually prepared for this holiday, then WELL DONE. You should be writing a blog, giving tips to us single gals on how to land one of those guys.
Alright, without further ado, before you knuckle heads hit the mall. Here are some quick tips to hopefully help you out. God speed gentleman, God speed……..
Tip # 1 No clothes. Not even socks (and seriously….socks?) Because guessing her size is the same as guessing her weight. And is that really what you want to do here? Really? I didn’t think so.
Tip # 2 Yes Jewellery. Jewellery is always a good choice. Any size, any colour and at stage of your relationship. But not just any price. Women have very good price radars when it comes to shiny things. So if you’re going for it, then go for it all the way. No holding back…..your wallet. The good news is for what you pick out for her, you can actually get creative here-as long as it’s diamonds. There’s diamond earrings, diamond necklaces, diamond bracelets, diamond anklets—
Tip # 3 No diamond rings. This gift is too heavy. This gift is only appropriate if you are ready to take a very big step in your relationship. And if you’re doing some last minute shopping, well you’re not ready.
Tip # 4 Yes Gift Cards. Gift cards used to be taboo and seen as an easy way out but they have become more acceptable and they are actually fun to get. Because it’s like a prepaid credit card to that store you like. Who wouldn’t like that? But make sure you get a decent amount on the card. A gift card to a jewellery store in less than four digits would just be silly.
Tip # 5 No puppies. Not even in toy form. Contrary to popular belief this is never a good gift to surprise someone with. Ever.
Tip # 6 Yes feline companionship. If the person you’re shopping for does not already have a feline roommate you should brooch the subject with her today. And what better way to brooch the subject than introducing her to her new roommate? I know plenty of cats looking for a roommate. So this is a win-win. Just remember, when you get your significant other a gift you now have to get her feline roommate a gift too.
Meow Meow For Now,
Toque ♥
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